My Huge Entertainment Backlog

In case you don’t know what a backlog is, it’s what manifests when you can’t control your spending and buy shit you don’t have time for. This is a thinly veiled attempt at proving my taste is superior to yours. Get ready for the LONGEST POST EVER. It’s so long that I’m actually going to make you click if you want to see it. This is a first, people. CHOICE.

Right Now

Games

Mass Effect (360) – Shit, I still need to finish this? Probably should wait until that new HDTV arrives, as this game was meant to played in HD.

Dead Rising (360) – Uhh, the demo might actually be better than the game. But that is almost solely due to the disgusting loading times and frequency. Which is why I’ve been waiting for the ability to load games onto the 360 hard drive. Hopefully, that’ll make Dead Rising bearable.

Crackdown (360) – Totally addictive for a little while, but I hit a wall and once one of the assassinations gave me a bit of trouble, I just dropped the game completely.

Symphony of the Night (XBLA) – It happens with every single Castlevania: I get stuck because I can’t figure out where to go next. I’ve gone to each corner of the map, looking for a new place I can access, but I can’t find it. Goddamn it.

Bionic Commando (XBLA) – Old school, throw-your-controller difficult goodness.

Braid (XBLA) – A truly imaginative game, but lately I’ve found I don’t have much patience for thinking. I rather just kill zombies.

Castle Crashers (XBLA) – I’m waiting until the patch hits to play it. Then I will jump onto XBL to play with random people.

Company of Heroes+Opposing Forces (PC) – Three campaigns, and I’m probably about halfway through the first one. Not to mention that I never quite learned how to play multiplayer well. Nonetheless, I did have plenty of fun in the games I played.

Half-Life 2: Episodes 1+2 (PC) – Half-Life 2 is the best example of a roller-coaster ride, but I never played through the Episodes because I couldn’t take playing them with my old laptop, and I haven’t had the urge since getting my new one. I’m sure once I start, I’ll get sucked in.

Painkiller (PC) – Pure, unadulterated FPS goodness. But I couldn’t figure out how to beat one of the bosses (the huge one in the cathedral), and haven’t touched it since.

Omega Five (XBLA) – An XBLA title that held my attention for far too little time. I enjoyed it, but I lose interest in most things faster than a 5-year-old with ADHD.

Zelda: Twlight Princess (GC) – I really don’t know if I’ll ever go back and play this. It was just snore-inducing. And I loved Wind Waker. Maybe my hatred of the Wii has made me hate everything Nintendo. I haven’t played my DS much this year, thinking about it.

The Witcher (PC) – An RPG that I allowed GAF to convince me to buy. I also blame Steam for making it so easy to spend my money. What the fuck was I thinking? I hate RPGs. Fuck me.

Max Payne 2 (PC) – I loved the first one (I still use the mousepad), and from all accounts the sequel is better in every way. Once again, Steam is responsible for me picking it up. Weekend deals FTW.

Books

The Bad Guys Won – A book about the 1986 Mets and how they were a bunch of assholes. The writing isn’t particularly noteworthy, but it’s all about the stories. It doesn’t get much better than reading about guys doing coke in airplane bathrooms with the door wide open, Kevin Mitchell almost killing Darryl Strawberry, and Keith Hernandez smoking in the dugout after a home run. The last being awesome solely on account of it being Keith Hernandez. I’m actually halfway through this one, as you might have gathered.

America – You know, that political satire with Jon Stewart on the cover. I got it almost a year ago for like 5 bucks. I haven’t even looked at it, but wasn’t it such a deal? Christ, I’m like Morty Seinfeld.

Philip K. Dick: Five Novels of the 1960’s and 70’s – This isn’t first collection with all his most notable novels — I already read that. And it was awesome. The only well-known novel in this one is “A Scanner Darkly”.

The Philip K. Dick Reader – This is TWENTY-FOUR of his short stories. Yeah, I think I’m set for life with regards to Philip K. Dick.

Under the Black Flag – I actually received this one as a gift, but I heartily approve. It has pirates, and not the shitty ones of the Caribbean.

Absolute Watchmen – Yeah, it’s a comic book. And it’s in a huge motherfucking tome and it’s badass. Fuck off.

The New Bill James Baseball Historical Abstract – 150 years of baseball condensed into appromixately 1000 pages of pure orgasm.

TV Shows

The Wire Season 5 – Watching as I type this. The last season of probably the most intelligent television show I’ve ever seen.

House Season 4 – It’s House. Not much elaboration needed here. I just kinda stopped watching television for a while there, so I need to catch up.

Lost Season 4 – Season 2 sucked so much it made it stop watching, but Season 3 has brought me back into the Lost fold. Not sure whether to watch this right now, or to wait for the Blu-ray set in December.

Movies

RocknRolla – I really need to see this before it disappears from theaters. It seems to be a return to Lock, Stock and Snatch territory for Guy Ritchie.

Role Models – I can’t resist Stifler and Paul Rudd in a comedy together.

On The Plate

Games

Left 4 Dead – This has already taken over my gaming time, as my next post will display. And it’s about to take the 360 gaming populace by storm. It is this year’s COD4.

Gears of War 2 – And this just might be this year’s Halo 3. Massive first-day sales for an over-hyped game. But I’ll still pick it up because I only played the original for an hour — then we played Rainbow Six: Vegas instead.

Dead Space – Resident Evil 4 in space with better controls and graphics. Sounds pretty fucking awesome to me. Can’t wait to get the shit scared out of me in glorious 42″ HDTV glory.

Fallout 3 – I haven’t played the first two in the series — and I doubt I ever will — but this game sounds right up my alley. To be honest, it had me at “post-apocalyptic setting”.

Fable 2 – Always wanted to play the original, but never got around to it. But it seems like this is the game the original should’ve been, so I guess I’m good. I’d like to say that I can’t wait to be a totally evil person, killing innocents and stealing shit, but I’m a moralistic pussy even in video games. Except for those times I shoot the legs of hostages in Counter-Strike.

Mirror’s Edge – I’ve already posted that this game is quite a step for first-person platforming, but the reported length of the game might have moved it to the back of my buy list. As you can see, I will have plenty to keep me busy for a long while. We will see.

Books

Catch-22 – A classic that I’ve never read. Not much else to say.

Men with Balls – A book by one of the funniest men on the internet, Big Daddy Drew. I personally enjoy his Emmitt Smith posts on Kissing Suzy Kolber the most.

God Save the Fan – I figure I owe Will Leitch for making the blogosphere a revelant force in sports media. And for linking to this blog that one time. That was pretty cool.

FreeDarko presents The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac – I think this book may actually get me back into basketball. The chances are slim, but if anything can do it, the awesome illustrations in this book can.

And a ton of other stuff…

TV Shows

The Sopranos – I want to see why everyone cared so damn much about a bunch of Italian stereotypes. Although, I must admit watched the very first episode and it was pretty entertaining. Still, I hate how everyone was talking about it would end (so much so that I couldn’t fucking avoid it since it was on goddamn DEADSPIN), while The Shield gets almost no attention. Fuck people.

Battlestar Galactica Season 4 – I watched this long, I might as well watch the rest.

Rome – This seems like possibly the most badass television show ever.

Movies

Quantum of Solace – Who doesn’t want to see Daniel Craig be fucking awesome again? And this time there is no love story or downtime — a sub-2 hour running time makes sure of that. Awesome.

The Wrestler – From the looks of it, this is Rocky, only more gritty and depressing. And with Marisa Tomei as a stripper. Sign me up.

Everything I haven’t seen…(I was going to post more and then realized this isn’t a backlog post anymore)

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~ by CajoleJuice on November 11, 2008.

One Response to “My Huge Entertainment Backlog”

  1. Reading this list makes me sad and terrified in equal measure- I never want to try and compile all the stuff i’ve yet to absorb, it would probably shock me into a coma.

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