Time to Come Up with a Tech Company

Thanks to Veronica Belmont’s blog, I was made aware of some entrepreneur opportunity called TechStars. Corny name, but the $15,000 caught my eye. Create a tech company with a few dudes, come up with an awesome idea, and you can go to Boulder, CO and have a bunch of successful people who also had cool ideas help you get your idea and company off the ground — with $15,000. Too bad I only know basic C programming, rudimentary Photoshop techniques, and how to translate videos into GIFs. Frank! Anyone reading this who knows how to code! Let’s come up with something, and I’ll motivate you to code! Here’s what I got so far:

NEEDS MORE SOCIAL NETWORKING
This should pretty much be the motto of the internet. There is such a mind-blowing amount of sites dedicated to people posting stuff about themselves and/or interacting with others of similar interests. There are communities centered around topics and ideas ranging from sci-fi book clubs, to the most deviant sexual behavior one can think of, to Friendster for cats. All we need to do is come up with another site where people can post attention-whoring crap.

The XP Squad
We would make a living off of upgrading PCs from Windows Vista to Windows XP. Yes, I said upgrading. You know it to be true. Too bad Bill Gates would probably have us murdered within a week of operation.

Meme Reader
4chan might as well be called this, but a site that ravenously keeps track of all the inane memes across the net could become pretty damn popular. LOLcats, O RLY, FHUTA, Rickrolling, etc… I’m getting excited just thinking about what a trainwreck of a site that would be. And imagine an RSS feed just of all those ridiculous pictures and future ones. Nerds across the globe would be giggling endlessly.

Loser Town Factor
A blast from my recent internet past, concerning sports fandom. I truly need to make this website. LTF would calculate and list the ineptitude (or success) of every professional sports town, according to an already formulated method. Its success would depend on how many Cleveland citizens embrace it.

Successor to Stage6
Yes, it went under due to money troubles, but maybe we’ll have better luck. We can take on Veoh, easily. I think some people would be willing to pay a few bucks a year to use a website as awesome as Stage6, especially if it had a decent search engine. Plus, I would ban anime. That alone would make it 10x more attractive to normal people.

Something with monkeys
I don’t know how technology and monkeys can be fused together, but once they are, it’ll be gold, Jerry. Gold!

KidNet
Wow, this actually might be a decent idea. Exploit the one demographic that has yet to revel in the shithole that is the internet. Get them before they fall into the traps of MySpace and 2girls1cup. Parents would be able to strictly (and secretly, if they wish) monitor their kids’ activities on the network, while kids get to talk about whatever crap cartoons they watch nowadays. Everyone would be happy. (Since this is a good idea, it has probably already been done for years.)

Professional/Viral Trolling
I would need to incorporate some online buddies in this venture. Frank, you could take care of real-life trolling. I’ve known you to rip apart just about anyone or anything. The online trolling section could be handled by these online acquaintances. We would be the answer to viral marketing. Think of the possibilities! I could get paid for complaining about how overpriced Macs are on my blog, or for saying that PS3 has no games on a gaming forum. Microsoft would be willing to pay for that sort of support.

That’s all I got for now.

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~ by CajoleJuice on March 2, 2008.

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