The failure of the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII has sent ripples through the fabric of America and has raised many questions not only in my mind, but in the minds of all football fans. I’m going to try to go through some of them here.
Did we just see the end of the Patriots dynasty?
The Patriots defense is old, and it’s what ultimately failed them. All they needed to do was stop Eli Manning from driving down the field with two and a half minutes left, and they couldn’t even do that. Also, the recent Yankee dynasty ended in similar, shocking fashion in the 2001 World Series, and this choke job eerily parallels the collapse in the 2004 ALCS. Now Yankee fans have a comeback when a Masshole brings that up.
Will the Tiki Theory now replace the Ewing Theory?
I personally think it should. Now I was a Knicks fan through the 90s, so maybe I have a bias here, but Ewing never badmouthed his coach and former players, at least to my recollection. The dude played his heart out and was disgracefully traded away. They may have made the Finals the year after, but look at the Knicks organization now. Meanwhile, all Tiki Barber has done since (and even before) he retired was talk shit about Tom Coughlin and Eli Manning. I hope he really enjoys pretending he’s a legitimate broadcaster. He’s not going to win any rings doing that.
Is Archie Manning the greatest father ever?
The guy sired and raised back-to-back Super Bowl MVPs. Not only that, but they both stopped Tom Brady from winning two more Super Bowl rings. He is the man at the forefront of the battle of good vs. evil.
Did Bill Simmons really just write this?
Through some mutual friends, I had arranged to hang out with Brady’s crew for what promised to be a laid-back celebration in somebody’s hotel room, probably no more than 15-20 people since Brady’s circle is surprisingly and refreshingly small. Because it was a rare chance to catch Brady in an unguarded moment — and an important moment at that — I spent most of Friday and Saturday thinking about that first paragraph and all the different ways it could start. I kept seeing Brady sitting in a chair with his right ankle encased in ice, quietly sipping a bottle of champagne with a satisfied smile on his face, and Gisele would be there, and everyone would be recapping 19-0 and remembering the incredible season. I liked the thought of a famous person celebrating a historic night in such a totally normal and relatable way.
That is more embarrassing than anything I ever wrote in my LiveJournal.
How long until Gisele breaks up with Brady?
Well, Jessica Simpson hasn’t broken up with Tony Romo, and he’s a much bigger loser than Brady. It’s much more likely that Brady will get her pregnant and subsequently leave her.
How many tears did Junior Seau cry last night?
Is this the greatest Super Bowl ever?
I’m inclined to say it is, but I’ve only been watching them for 15 years or so. But my grandpa backs me up, and he made a point of saying this was better than Super Bowl III. Like I said yesterday, add up the Patriots going for 19-0, the Giants deciding to become unstoppable out of nowhere, Manning vs. Brady, and one of the most intense games you’ll ever see, PERIOD, and you get a spectacle worthy of the name Super Bowl.