American Men Suck At Pretty Much Every Sport

Not only did Andy Roddick – the number 3 seed – lose in the first round at the French Open, every American (all 9 of them) failed to advance to the second round. That’s only the third time that’s happened at a Grand Slam in the past 40 years. This doesn’t really matter because it looks like this will be the year Roger Federer finally wins at Roland Garros. He finally beat Rafael Nadal on clay recently in surprisingly easy fashion. But getting away from America’s ineptness at tennis…

Is there any sport that is internationally played where America is on top? I’m not talking about women, because in reality no one really gives a shit about women’s sports. I’m sorry, but it’s true. In basketball, our biggest stars get completely owned by guys that actually play defense and as a team. In baseball, we didn’t even medal in the World Baseball Classic. In golf, we routinely lose the Ryder Cup – but at least we have Tiger Woods. In soccer…well, let’s not talk about that disaster. I don’t even know hockey, but I’m pretty sure the U.S. hasn’t won any international hockey competitions in recent years. At least we still have football, but only because the rest of the world plays
the more aptly-named form of football (or rugby).

It’s no doubt due to American youths not having the same drive for athletic success and discipline that kids in other countries have. Also, the wealth in the United States allows kids to participate in other activities. In Latin America, all kids do is play baseball and soccer, even if their equipment is worse than any American kid could imagine. They dream about playing in the Major Leagues from birth. In Europe, basketball is starting to grab hold, and the players from over there have a better sense of the team game than most of the best players that come out of the ghettos of American cities. But you know what? All this competition from all over the world only makes every sport better.


~ by CajoleJuice on May 31, 2007.

3 Responses to “American Men Suck At Pretty Much Every Sport”

  1. Thats why TFC should be a sport, so I can bring honor back to the country.

    Virtual Athlete for life.

  2. Tiger Woods doesn’t do too bad at golf!

  3. I did mention him in passing.

    (I know he kinda destroys my argument, so I glossed over him as much as I could.)

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