The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is a Joke
So I was on Amazon.com yesterday for no particular reason when I saw something pretty disturbing. Ok, I was actually thinking of purchasing a book called “Apocalypse 2012” after reading some of it at Borders but this is beside the point. Whether or not I’m obsessed with the world ending is irrevelant to this music discussion. On the other hand, maybe they are related – when Shania Twain and 50 Cent are on the list of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s “200 Essential Albums” list, there can’t be much hope for this world. Apparently, the list was actually compiled by NARM (Numerous Atrocious Ranking Makers), but The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is presenting it as if it were their own, so John Bonham must be not just rolling in his grave, but drinking himself into a stupor wherever he is and consequently beating the shit out of everyone within a 50 foot radius. Keith Moon is probably joining him in also trashing the place beyond recognition.
Truly, The Rock and Roll HOF just blew every bad list in the history of the world out of the water. Some guy could put Ellen Degeneres, Roseanne, and Rosie O’Donnell on a “Hottest Celebrities Ever” list and it wouldn’t be half as horrifying as this mockery. And the fact that they actually ranked the albums as well makes the whole thing worse. Due to this decision, I only have one functioning eye left, since I repeatedly stabbed one with a plastic knife. Shania Twain is at 21. Enimem, Outkast, Dr. Dre and Beastie Boys are listed consecutively at 28-31. There’s the TITANIC SOUNDTRACK. I can’t even do this anymore.
And of course, it’s not just the albums that are included, but the mind-blowing omissions. One in particular – SOUNDGARDEN. Maybe I should mail each person who was a part of making this list a Superunknown CD. They obviously haven’t heard it. I mean, that song Black Hole Sun was really only played on underground radio stations. It would be too harsh and juvenile of me to feel the need to punch them all in the face. Alice in Chains is also not there. Neither is Nine Inch Nails. Same goes for Deep Purple and Megadeth. And I’m not a Sonic Youth fan, but I know they have an extremely loyal following.
Maybe I shouldn’t expect much from a supposed rock and roll institution that has yet to induct Rush after 5 years of eligibility. KISS isn’t in either (also not on the list), and I know thousands of middle-aged men aren’t too happy with that. Sure, I want to shoot myself everytime I hear more than three seconds of “Rock and Roll All Nite” but their influence on ROCK is undeniable; unlike, say, Norah Jones’s impact. Plus, Strutter is a pretty sweet song in Guitar Hero II.
It’s just embarassing that the ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME would be at all involved with this list. I really don’t give a shit that they didn’t make it and the list is supposed to be a varied list of whatever has been popular throughout the years. This would be like the NFL presenting a list of the greatest athletes of all-time across all sports. I just can’t wrap my head around this.