10 Reasons Why ‘March Madness’ is Overrated

The month of March supposed brings the most exciting event of the sporting calendar year. Millions of guys across the country illegally fill out NCAA Tournament pools, pretending that they actually know something about college basketball. ESPN analysts argue about “bubble teams” as if any of them actually had a chance of winning the tournament anyway. Sports talk radio is filled with incessant chatting about each part of the bracket and the seedings.

I can’t take it. In fact, it’s been bothering me so much this year that I’m going to tell you why “March Madness” is overhyped garbage.

Bracketology

You’ve gotta me shitting me. Congratulations Joe Lunardi, you can predict what teams are going to make it into the NCAA Tournament – I bet you get fed inside information anyway. What kind of profession is this, and what purpose does it serve? Maybe I’m a bit naive on the subject, but is there action on whether or not certain teams are going to make it into The Big Dance? Do people pay attention to this inane practice because they’ve got money on Duke being a 7 seed? Someone please tell me.

– The players get worse every year

Any high schooler worth his salt makes the jump straight to the NBA nowadays. Either that, or he’s one good season and out, not allowing his college to built around his talent. As a result, no truly great college teams are developed anymore. A team catches lighting in a bottle with a freshman like Carmelo Anthony and wins the NCAA Championship and then it’s over. Granted, this fact might make for a more wide-open, unpredictable tournament, but the quality of play is not the same as it once was.

– Talk about “bubble teams”

I guess this fits in with the bracketology part, but the discussion continues after the field has already been selected. Who really gives a shit whether or not some mediocre teams that would be lucky to make the Elite 8 are in the tournament or not? Other than the actual team and its fans, no one is shedding tears over Drexel or Syracuse not getting a chance. Thankfully, all the snub talk will end once the actual tournament starts.

– Dick Vitale

Fortunately, I really think this madman is nearing the end of his rope. Watching Sportscenter the other day, he was breathing disturbingly heavy while yelling about the bubble teams. Maybe he was tired from announcing his own dinner. Can’t you just visualize him taking a bite of a steak and just screaming, “THIS IS GREAT BABY!” He has an average of 15 coronaries every game he announces where his voice hits a unparalleled level of cracking. 12-year-old boys going through puberty have voices less annoying than him. I want to take a hockey stick to his throat.

– Too many teams

Unless you’re a rabid college basketball fan (which is pretty insane in its own right), you don’t know the majority of the teams in the tournament. If you’re filling out a pool, you’re just listening to the opinions on ESPN or the radio and if not, you’re throwing darts at the bracket. I don’t mean the names of the schools – I mean the actual players. If you can name the starting lineup for 5 teams, that’s extremely impressive.

– The “Final Four”

No other sport makes a big deal about reaching the semifinals of the playoffs, which is the way it should be. Every once in a while, there is an inspiring Cinderella story of a smaller school like George Mason, but for the most part, the “Final Four” is just a fancy name for “almost”.

– Too many games, too quickly

Even if you are frothing at the mouth waiting for the tournament to start, you know that you won’t be able to watch all the games. 64 games. 3 weeks. Chances are if you have any sort of life or rational head on your shoulders, you don’t want to watch every game, but for the crazies out there, this is a definite drawback. You might miss a last-second buzzer beater, or a massive comeback. What a shame.

– There’s not much else going on

Sports fans are bound to get excited about The Big Dance, considering that March is the deadest part of the professional sports calendar. The NFL is gone, the NBA is in the lull of its regular season with the Mavericks destroying everyone in their path, and no one gives a shit about the NHL anymore. Even NASCAR is more popular. The NCAA Tournament fills this void perfectly.

– Basketball is boring to watch anyway

Yea, I said it. Maybe college basketball has the appearance of being more exciting and hard-fought than the NBA, but it’s still the official “watch the last 2 minutes” sport. And those last two minutes are usually stretched out way too long.

– Joakim Noah

Hey, let’s see if this Digg thing really works…

Probably not.

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~ by CajoleJuice on March 13, 2007.

5 Responses to “10 Reasons Why ‘March Madness’ is Overrated”

  1. I could disagree with some of these, but I’ll make my comment short and sweet and say make Noah all ten reasons.

  2. He is a fucking weirdo. I hope he was trying to be funny with that dance there, even if he was, he still made himself look like an idiot in front of thousands of people.

  3. Noah has the distinction of being even uglier than Adam Morrison. Hopefully, he’ll end up crying too.

  4. I was gonna bring up Morrison. They both need to shave unless they are trying to be adolescent mexicans or something. I didn’t even watch the video I know he’s a douche.

  5. lololol

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