Mr. Robotic Beer Launcher Inventor

This man is truly an American hero. I really hope he patented this idea. In a few months, you could be seeing these in Wal-Marts across the country. This is civilization’s next great step. There is now one less reason to move. We Americans are closer to our goal of being fat, immobile slobs whose lives are dominated by activities that require no physical strain whatsoever. I can think of no greater goal than that. That is why I wrote this commercial. If I had any sort of vocal ability, I would make an audio version, but alas, I am but a lowly man – I can only supply you with the script. Budweiser will just need to make a commercial now. You advertising guys know how to contact me.

Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today, we salute you, Mr. Robotic Beer Launcher Inventor
(Mr. Robotic Beer Launcher Inventor)
For all eternity, men needed to get up to receive ice cold refreshment, now, we just need to press a button. Another remote for the good of mankind.
(Don’t gotta move now)
Commercial breaks were always the designated time to grab a beer, because of you, there is instant gratification. Just like a Victoria Secret model commercial.
(No more waiting)
Man’s greatest invention since the tailgater’s companion, the hibachi. Never again will a John Madden comment be missed due to an emergency trip to the fridge
(Tough actin Tinactin)
So crack open a nice, cold Bud Light, Mr. Robotic Beer Launcher Inventor, and hope that it doesn’t spray all over your couch.
(Mr. Robotic Beer Launcher Inventor)
Bud Light Beer, Anheuser-Busch, St, Louis, Missouri


~ by CajoleJuice on March 2, 2007.

One Response to “Mr. Robotic Beer Launcher Inventor”

  1. How do I purchase one?

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