My Secret Reason for Not Buying/Asking for a Wii This Christmas Season

I’m a Nintendo fan. I try to hide it and work hard at being as unbiased as possible, but I grew up with NES and Mario – I can’t help but feel giddy when a new Mario or Zelda or (insert Nintendo franchise not named Mario Party here) game comes out. I love Nintendo games, at least for the most part.

You might be asking yourself right now, “If he loves Nintendo so much, why doesn’t he want a Wii?”

The answer is simple: That would doom the Wii to a slow, painful death. Every time I’ve been an early adopter of a new console, that system has lost to its main competitor and consequently been drained of 3rd-party support, leading to its demise. (Well, all the ones after the Genesis…it seems to get worse each time) Let’s have a look at my spoiled, only-child console history:

Sega Genesis – My mom left me with an ultimatum for Christmas in 1991 – Genesis or SNES. Now, this is actually two years into the Genesis’ life in the U.S., but it really didn’t become mainstream until Sonic hit the console in 1991. I chose Genesis because of Sonic; he was just too cool and too fast. Mario was old and busted. Sonic enabled Sega to truly fight Nintendo, and even win, for a while, but by the time the next generation of consoles would hit, the SNES would pull away in sales and game quality. When I saw games like Donkey Kong Country and Super Mario RPG coming out, I was freaking out. Ever since then, I wished I had chosen the SNES. My best friend had all the cool Genesis games anyhow since his older brother knew what was up. And I wouldn’t have had to watch in anguish the Sonic series fall off harder than The Simpsons in the past decade.

Nintendo 64 – This choice I don’t regret at all. I stand by my opinion that the N64 was the better console for the non-RPG gamer. Or maybe I wasn’t an RPG gamer because N64 had almost none worth mentioning. Nevertheless, games like Super Mario 64, Goldeneye, and Zelda: Ocarina of Time were games that, in my opinion, crushed anything the PSX had to offer. But it didn’t matter, as Nintendo was painted as the kiddy game company while Sony created what is now the Playstation generation. I destroyed Nintendo. (Actually, chooing cartidges destroyed Nintendo, but let’s move on…)

Dreamcast – What can I say? The PS2 killed this console before it was even released. I knew the PS2 was coming when I asked for DC for Christmas in 1999, but I didn’t care. Soul Calibur was the most amazing game I had ever seen in my life. I couldn’t believe how real it looked, and I couldn’t believe how smooth it was. 60 fps was more mesmorizing than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Too bad the console was dead in less than two years. But those two years were some of the best gaming I’ve ever had.

Gamecube – Once again, Nintendo was beaten by a newcomer to the industry – this time it was Microsoft. At least this console lasted twice as long as the Dreamcast, but that’s still only 4 years…if that. Resident Evil 4 was basically the last hurrah for the console, and that was released in January of 2005. I’m just glad Nintendo didn’t completely fuck Gamecube owners by deciding to release Zelda: Twilight Princess for the console, even if it was after the Wii version. What a bunch of assholes.

I think writing this article has changed my mind. Maybe part of the reason I’m not buying a Wii is due to Zelda being the only worthwhile game at this point, and it should’ve been released months earlier for Gamecube anyway. I’m not buying a Wii because Nintendo is run by a bunch of douchebags, and until I see this console isn’t going to turn into a 3rd-party wasteland, I’m going to hold off. I’m not buying a Wii because Xbox 360 is the better console at this point, and I’m waiting for a price drop and for the hardware issues to be worked out. I’m not buying a Wii since I’m really only excited for Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, both of which probably won’t be released until next holiday season.

It’s funny though – this is the first time in a while that I’m not hyped for a Nintendo console, and this one is being touted as the savior of gaming. If Wii Sports is the future of gaming, count me out.

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~ by CajoleJuice on December 25, 2006.

3 Responses to “My Secret Reason for Not Buying/Asking for a Wii This Christmas Season”

  1. Great post, so recognizable!! I think everyone has this with at least one thing in their lives..

  2. I’m not quite sure what you mean by that, but you’re the first to comment in a while, thanks for commenting! I was thinking the only people that visited my blog were ghosts.

  3. Well, what I meant is that most people sometimes have a feeling that if they get involved in something, that it is not working. For example if you buy an album, and everytime you do it, the albums drops in the charts. Or lottery tickets, stuff like that. A web surfers maybe are as ghosts, flying by your blog without you knowing šŸ™‚

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