Tom Brady Is The Anti-Christ
This fact was made obvious by tonight’s ridiculous AFC Divisional Playoff game between the Patriots and Chargers. The Chargers were given multiple chances to seal the win, but freak occurances kept giving Brady and Co. opportunities to work their magic. There was an mind-blowingly stupid unnecessary roughness call brought on by Drayton Florence of the Chargers headbutting a Patriots player. There was another unnecessary roughness call that led to the Patriots getting great field position. Even when Brady threw the game away with his third INT of the game, Troy Brown managed to strip the ball for the Patriots to get it back. All these were definitely work of the Devil.
If that isn’t the face of pure metrosexual evil, I don’t know what is.
I knew the Chargers were fucked when Brady executed another one of his perfect 2-minute drives at the end of the first half. I have no clue where the hell that came from. I guess he hadn’t activated his true powers yet. The Chargers utterly dominated pretty much the entire first half, yet they only had a 14-10 to show for it. The second half saw the Chargers continue to play conservatively, and they paid dearly for it. Belichick and Brady just found a way to win, as they always do in the playoffs. I knew it. ESPN analysts owned.
Unfortunately, with their win, the Patriots have set up a week of agonizingly non-stop, overly dramatic coverage of the Colts-Pats matchup on ESPN. It really is the Red Sox-Yanks of the NFL. Maybe this is the year where the Colts finally break through. Why? Because they have the only man that combat the evil power of Tom Brady: Adam Vinatieri.